Date:	2005-03-31 12:05
Subject:	hyperacidic
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious
Music:	netcafe ambient

i'm in a state of mixed emotions. angry but ok. anxious and relaxed. groggy and sober. i've just formalised hating two of my friends.surreal.but true. i dunno if i'll still forgive them. for now...i hate them both...

Date:	2005-03-01 21:27
Subject:	contradiction
Security:	Public
Mood:	blank
Music:	aircon humming

i am ok now. i am over her. thank God, i can move on now.
i'm a lil bored though.just waiting for my next work. then
travel again. i am goin to europe. soon..but first the middle east.
oh well..

Date:	2005-02-04 12:12
Subject:	loser
Security:	Public
Mood:	sored:dirtjumping accident
Music:	look what you've done- jet

i'm miss her.but what can i say?we broke up already.i mean, i really love her.
don't get me wrong, but that's how she wants it. so i have to let go. at the back
of my mind, i'm still hopin that it's just a bad dream. i'm lost. i mean i have all
these plans in my mind for her.for us..i was really serious about her. heck. i dunno.


wherever you are..i just hope that you'll be happy..

Date:	2005-02-02 12:45
Subject:	paranoia
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy
Music:	ambient noise-spoons, keyboard, plates, water

*sigh*
has it been ages?heck.it's just been days and yet i feel like i've been
left in the open seas for sharkfood.i'm soo lost. i miss her very much.
i've been havin all these thoughts of her. negative thoughts. loser thoughts.
ok, let's say she's really busy and all..but does her mobile phone need to conspire
and get busted so that she won't be able to sms and call back? or are those sweet talking
bastards finally winning her over?? or is she hating me for something that i might have
done or something???i'm soo getting paranoid.these thoughts are killin me. especially
them sweet talking bastards..geez..if you ever read this shin. show me a sign wilya?
i'll wait for the next pigeon carrying your message.

for the record:

i still feel the same way about her.

Date:	2005-01-11 15:54
Subject:	patience is a virtue.
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy
Music:	kitchie nadal

you must praise her for putting up with me. i mean, i've been acting really foolish and stupid recently. obviously i pissed her off. i mean, who wouldn't??? don't get me wrong, i love her..i really do..but i've been really stressed out with work and some family issues lately...i really appreciate what she's doing for me right now...on my way home from the indian embassy[ which by the way was as irritating as expected.]she called me..before that we texted..she told me that it's ok..and that she understands..she even told me that i was the one who taught her how to be patient..how to be understanding ...man, i love her..what more can i ask??? i just wish that i'll be able to repay her kindness and all...


shinnie..i'm sorry for bein an ass.
thanks for being so patient!

i love you shin!

Date:	2005-01-06 14:42
Subject:	the love of my life
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy
Music:	if i ain't got you-alicia keys[singin it in my head]

i found the love of my life.her name is shin.i'd like the world to know.

Date:	2004-12-20 11:25
Subject:	happy people work harder
Security:	Public
Mood:	irritated
Music:	if ain't got you baby-alicia keys

damn right.

Date:	2004-12-11 00:12
Subject:	nothing serious
Security:	Public
Mood:	geeez
Music:	1230 am office ambient

it's nothing really.it's 1230 am.and we're stuck in the office coz someone forgot to return the office key to me.and the tenant downstairs locked the main gate.good thing jofel's got some cereals and milk stored somewhere.: )i've finished a serving already.and i'm gonna play alexander next...some lan action would be nice..but afterwards, where do we sleep?

Date:	2004-12-08 19:00
Subject:	stressed out
Security:	Public
Mood:	flustered
Music:	usher-confessions album

*sigh*i'm tired.*sigh*

Date:	2004-11-22 08:57
Subject:	coincidental dinner?
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful
Music:	hp laser jet 1000 printing several hundred docs for tender

woke up very late yesterday[read:1:40 pm].did the laundry[installment number one:the necessities].and head off to the office to do some lil work for today.after finishing my drawing list.i heard mass.same old.saw the two pretty sisters[siblings not nuns.i just want to clarify] outside church.but there are alot of nice girls outside.i guess it's one of em days.i met with my friend syed to clear off some debts acquired from pasalubong shopping from his shop.i fought off my urge to purchase some more silver jewelry.whew!we had a small talk about the possibilities of doing business togethere in manila.good idea..hope it'll work..anyways i picked up jofel at the office and we headed off to dinner at varietas along church street.scanning the tables, ofcourse we sitted ourselves near a group of females.wherelse?they were chatting. there was this one girl crouched and wrapped with pashmina on her seat..after some time.it hit me.she looks alot like priya.hmmm..i realised...she is priya!.what a coincidence..and she's sitted with a prettier girl.i know..while hearing mass..i prayed thatGod show me some signs.heck, way back i prayed that if i ever get to see here again, i'll never let the chance pass..but what to do?i wasn't in the flirt mode.maybe it's the medicines kicking in.[been suffering from hyper acidity and colds recently]..i dunno..i just didn't have the courage that night.i was afraid of my ego being massacred that night in front of innocent diners.shucks.so i just went ahead with dinner..made some calls to friends. joseph even volunteered to come over if i need back up.hahaha.anyways, after dinner.i found out why she didn't call/email/text me..some guy in a brand new red maruti picked em up.she sat in front.i thanked God for the revelation.He's always good!...while strolling back to office..

i asked jofel.."could he be the brother?"hmmmm.
"nah", he said."you lost, just move on"

Date:	2004-11-20 13:11
Subject:	ad nauseam
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	launchcast adult alternative radio

nauseaous. i've never felt like this way about work. obviously, the all nighters at the office have taken its toll.*sigh*.now i can't even revise a simple drawing. what to do?

Date:	2004-11-19 17:29
Subject:	bangalore auto 'rip'shaw chronicles nov19
Security:	Public
Mood:	drained
Music:	office ambient

boss, st. marks road?
sure boss sit.
how much?
250 rupees.
*laugh*
why that much?it's very near.
blah.blah.[kannada gibberish]
ok. two hundred fifty rupees?sure.and by the way can you take me to mysore after that?you stupid fuck...



*mysore is 140 kms away from bangalore

Date:	2004-11-15 19:43
Subject:	sick
Security:	Public
Mood:	shitty
Music:	office ambient.

i'm feelin sick.colds..this darn headache just started.damn.deadlines
are cavin in on me?what to do?fuck.it would have been easy if i have
the drive.there's no passion.no motivation.it sucks.damn.

Date:	2004-11-09 21:32
Subject:	priya
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	through the mist-arabesque

it happened last sunday
her name is priya.commercial street was packed as ever.people probably doing their
last minute shopping for diwali festival.i don't know if they practice gift giving here as well..
i think diwali is like christmas.new year..you can see makeshift stalls selling firecrackers.
anyways.after doing some early christmas shopping for friends and families. jofel and i went
to the forum mall.i bought some native placemats and a hey ram dvd[which by the way i need to rip
and burn for my friend henry back in manila.].anyways.i was headin off to the foodcourt to meet jofel
when i saw her.she's petite and stylish.wearing jeans, black sleeveless top and a black pashmina
around her neck.it was quite awkward.i hurried off past her..and decide to turn back and take the other escalators. after some time.i realised that the escalator she took was nearer to where i'm goin so i turned back again. fortunately, she was heading to the foodcourt as well..i found jofel waiting for me with his plate empty.i guess he was not lying when he told me that he's really hungry.so i grabbed my receipt to pick up my mutton sheek wrap. i saw here again.she was havin a hard time choosing which food to take.when she was standing near our table[still having a hard time selecting from the varied chinese dishes], i asked her: excuse me?are you veg or non veg?[joseph and i have been wanting to use this line
for ages!unfortunately this line is for india use only*wink*]her friend replied with her:non veg.
i told them they can try the dragon roll which is good..they probably thought i'm chinese
by the way i look and that i'm an expert in everything oriental and all.: ).she was polite to say that
she'll think about it and give it a try.[which by the way she didnt'.she probably just said that to shoo me away]..so we went ahead with our dessert.some pancakes with fresh fruits, cream and vanilla ice cream from movenpick.i saw her with her friend and a guy friend so i decided to wait till the guy leave before i approach her agaain..thinking that i could ask how her dinner went and such?or if she liked the dragon roll.unfortunately the guy stuck with them.so we decide to head for the carpark
.alas! i saw her coming out from the restroom area..alone..that's when i decided to
make a move and ask her name..

excuse me i was wonderin if may know your name?
why?
i'm kinda new here in bangalore[which is a lie coz i've been here since march]and i don't have that much friends here.
my name is priya.: )
so are you originally from bangalore?..
yes.
so are you here for your studies?.
i'm actually working already.
really??that's good.so what do you do?
i'm a software engineer.
which company?..
oracle.

finally.i asked if i could call her..she declined to give
her mobile.which sucked![big time]i actually asked her why.and she told me that she's got alot of friends in bangalore already.awww.. that's cruel!so i told her that i'll give her my namecard instead, and if she changed her mind she can give me a call.


before i slept..my heart was pounding.i was visualising that the next morning i'll receive an email from her or something..
nice move..

lesson learned: eating pancakes with ice cream and fresh from moven pick gives you powers.maybe next time i should have two scoops instead of one.hmmmmm..its not the end of the world.i'll bounce back..you'll see..*wink*

one small step against being laazy all day.i made a playlist yesterday.i normally create them for friends.most of the time when i'm in love.: )..now i'm compiling one for myself.i dunno why i need to burn em in one cd when i hear em regularly on launchcast.geez

1]fuel: bittersweet
2]fuel: shimmer
3]graham colton band: first week
4]switchfoot: we were meant to live..
5]incubus: talkshows in mute
6]david gray: babylon
7]jack johnson: flake
8]toby lightman: real love
9]josh kelley: amazing
10]ryan cabrera: on the way down
11]david gray: please forgive me
12]coldplay: trouble
13]staind: flip